Tag Archives: Rebecca Reilly

The Spotlight Shines On Rebecca Reilly

Greetings, wonderful readers! One of the great perks of being a member of RAVE REVIEWS BOOK CLUB is the amazing opportunity to meet many talented indie authors. Today, I am honored to share my blog with one such talent. Introducing this month’s RRBC Spotlight Author Rebecca Reilly!

RebeccaReillyheadshot low res

Rebecca Reilly is a retired pastor, a massage therapist, and the author of Christian Sex and Marriage—It’s Complicated.



Too Emotionally and/or Physically Tired to Make Love

I look at my to-do list, and I want to crawl back in bed and cry.  By the end of the day, I want to fall into bed and sleep.


Marielle’s Story

I start my day taking care of my aging parents, then it’s get the kids to school, go to work, pick up kids, pick up dinner, and collapse on the sofa.  I don’t have the energy to brush my teeth, much less have sex before I fall into bed.


Zena’s Story

I imagined a near-every-night scenario for sex.  But life kind of takes over.  Everything is good, but by the end of the day, neither of us want to do anything under the covers but sleep.


Kate’s Story

I hate to admit it, but I’m older now.  I thought we’d have more sex once the kids left the house.  But in reality, I start nodding off as soon as the dishes are done.


I’m too tired for sex is the number one reason people give for climbing into bed and going straight to sleep.  True or not, those words take a huge emotional toll on marriage.  In sexual speak, when one partner says, “I’m too tired,” the other partner hears, “I’m not interested in you.”  Contrary to what many wives believe, men hear and feel the emotional rejection as deeply as women.[i]

Life, no matter how good it is, tends to wear us out and push the yearning for sex into the background.  Age, health, busyness, stress, and emotional upheaval negatively affect sexual hormones and literally dry up our drive.  Ironically, sexual stimulation and satisfaction can create an energy burst that fuels us both physically and emotionally long after the act.

Too tired to make love with your mate?  The cure is to make love with your mate.

Sounds easy, but it’s not.  If you are consistently too tired for passion, you must dedicate extra energy throughout the day to build passion and prepare yourself for your spouse.  A sexy thought, a moment to remember the love of your mate creates anticipation and readies you to make love.  Your mind energizes your body.  Make intercourse with your spouse a focal point of your thoughts—twenty seconds at a time, every hour of your day.

Here is some advice from couples who take proactive steps to conquer sleepiness and prepare for passion:

  • Fantasize about your mate. As you drive to work, clean the house, and eat your lunch, bring to mind how his chest feels to your hand as you run your fingers across him.  Think about how she looks in your favorite lingerie.  Remember a past erotic event you shared.    Imagine what you’d like to feel tonight.  Your mind is powerful.  Your body responds to your thoughts and prepares itself.  Ten seconds here, thirty seconds there, not much time is needed to groom your mind and body to be awake later that night.  Limit your fantasies to your spouse. Fantasy lives that are out of control, or inappropriate, tear apart marriages instead of unifying them.  If you struggle in this area, this option is not one for you to explore.
  • Whisper in her ear as you kiss her goodbye in the morning. Tell her you want her, you’ll be thinking about making love with her all day, and tell her how you want to make her feel that night.  Wives, men love this too!  By speaking your passion, your desire grows.  Hearing your spouse’s yearnings spurs your own.
  • Getting your blood flowing raises your endorphins (feel good hormones).  Exercise raises self-esteem and helps men and women feel sexier.  Jogging or lifting weights provides time to fantasize about your spouse, too.
  • Bathe, shave, and use essential oils to help increase your personal sense of sexuality. Wear lingerie under your work clothes.
  • Believe you are desirable to your spouse. Take steps to increase his or her desire.
  • Sip some coffee before bed. Drink just enough for a quick pick-me-up if you feel your energy lagging.  Be careful not to overdose and keep yourself up all night.
  • Women, flex your inner thighs throughout the day. Kegal exercises tighten you up, but they also stimulate your sex glands.
  • Shake up your evening routine. Skip television.  Feed each other dessert.  Give each other massages.  Try different activities that help you focus on each other.
  • Write erotica. Just like fantasizing, your erotica focuses on your mate and your marriage.  Write down your sexiest memory of your spouse.  Write it in great detail.  Better yet, write erotica together.  Text him the first line of your story.  He sends back the second line.  Read your masterpiece together that night, and then add more to the story.
  • And finally, make love. Do not wait until you’re in the mood to have sex. We’ve been taught that our sexual cycle moves from desire to arousal to orgasm to resolution. Research suggests, however, that for women in long-term relationships, desire often comes after arousal.  If you allow yourself to be receptive to your spouse’s seduction, you will become aroused, and then desire blooms.


[i] Shaunti Feldhahn, For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men (Multnomah, 2004),



On Your Own

Evaluate yourself:

  • How would you rate your sex drive? Is it lower, higher, or combatable with your mate’s?
  • What do you do to communicate your sexual needs to your spouse? Do you find him or her responsive?  Are you responsive to their needs?
  • If your sex drive is lower than your spouse’s, can you pinpoint something in your life or beliefs that might be contributing to that? Is there something you can change to bring your sexual desire to a more even level?
  • If your sex drive is higher than your spouse’s, what are you doing to bring your desire levels to a more even level?

Sometime this week, say these things to your spouse:

  • I desire you.
  • You satisfy me.
  • Thank you for loving me.
  • You are worthy to be loved.
  • I am worthy to be loved.
  • I love you. I’m glad I married you.  I’d marry you again tomorrow.

Open Communication

Conversation Starters

  • Do we make love as often as you need or want?
  • What can I do to meet your sexual needs?
  • Do you think our sex drive is compatible? Do you see our sexual drive levels as evenly matched?  If not, what can we do to meet each other’s needs?
  • What can I do for you at this moment to show my love for you?



Purchase Rebecca Reilly’s

Christian Sex and Marriage—It’s Complicated

Amazon Paperback: http://bit.ly/SexMarriagePB

Barnes and Noble:  http://bit.ly/sexBN

iTunes– http://bit.ly/iTunessexandmarriage

Follow Rebecca Reilly:

Twitter: @RebeccaReillyL

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RebeccaLynnReilly/

Website (sign up for her newsletter): rebeccareilly.net

Email: Rebeccareilly.author@gmail.com



California’s Ghosts

Hello, readers. I am thrilled that The Indie Spot has been selected as a stop on indie author Rebecca Reilly’s blog tour. Please give a warm welcome to my guest.

 California’s Ghosts

The Ghoulish Research Behind Rebecca Reilly’s Haunting Megan

According to local legend, a bevy of mountain lodge websites, and men drinking at a Placerville tavern, there is no shortage of ghosts in California’s Gold Country.

“I saw this skinny kid walkin’ in front of me down Bull Creek Trail.  I thought he was lost.  Then, he turned and looked right at me.”  The 280-pound construction worker shuddered and gulped his beer.  “He didn’t have any eyeballs.  Swear to God—only holes where his eyes shoulda been.  Freaked me out.”

“I gotta better one than that,” a guy three stools down joined the conversation.  “My sister’s boy, they live in this hundred-year-old house in Coloma.  Well, one night he woke up, and he was floating a foot above his bed.  No lie.  Just floating.  A ghost was holding him up.  Couldn’t see anything or anyone, but he said he could feel hands just holding him in the air.”

“He was high, alright,” his barstool neighbor interjected, “but I don’t think ghosts had anything to do with it.”

Skeptic or believer, tales of ghostly hauntings send shivers up even the bravest spines.  While researching material for Haunting Megan, I came across a myriad of similar stories told by people with no connection to one another.  I used those narratives to help form a picture, or set of rules, to realistically portray ghosts in my novel.

Location is important.  In many ghost sightings, the person died, often tragically, at the place he or she haunts.  But that is not always the case.  Sometimes, the place of haunting holds a significant meaning other than death to the ghost.  Birth, tragedy, or in some cases, happy memories are linked to a spirit that died elsewhere.

Sight, smell, touch, and hearing are the senses most often affected by ghosts who visit the living.  Odors, from sweet-smelling perfume to putrid stench, often accompany a sighting.  Sometimes the smell acts as a precursor to an appearance, but some people report that the ghost leaves an aroma behind when he or she leaves.

Ghosts can cause minor annoyances like the interruption of electrical currents.  Many stories include the turning on and off of lights, radios, or computers.  Room temperature often drops when ghosts appear.  Small objects can move or fly across the room.  Ghosts have been blamed for hiding objects, too.

Ghosts usually wear outfits befitting the time they reportedly lived.  Though often portrayed as floating in the movies, many sightings report spirits walking as they would have done when alive (including using a cane or hobbling).  Flying tends to occur when ghosts seemingly feel intense emotion such as anger, fear, or frustration.

If ghost hunting interests you, you may want to visit one or more of these California Gold Country sites:

The Cary House

300 Main Street

Placerville, CA

The ghost of a man is said to haunt the lobby and some people claim a cat is haunting room 220. It is said there are four separate ghosts in the building.

Hotel Jeffery

5001 Main Street

Coulterville, CA

Reportedly haunted by an old miner from the hotel’s gold rush days, this man is just one of the many ghosts reportedly spied at the hotel. The hotel plays up its haunted reputation and apparently rents out “ghost detecting kits” that you can reserve with your stay.

Holbrooke Hotel

212 West Main Street

Grass Valley CA

There are a variety of ghostly rumors that surround this place, including the sighting of an unfortunate gambler who slit his own throat with a straight razor in one of the rooms. Several different full-body apparitions appear throughout the hotel and people claim to hear a variety of ghostly noises, including children playing and rattling and banging noises coming from one of the women’s bathrooms.

National Exchange Hotel

211 Broad St.

Nevada City, CA

This is considered to be the oldest operating hotel in California, and possibly in all the West. Established in 1856, it has been in continuous operation except for a brief period where it was closed down due to fire damage and repaired.  People have reported seeing full body apparitions of men dressed in old-fashioned clothing sitting in the lobby and smoking cigars.  Some claim to have seen the figure of a woman in Victorian era dress gliding through the bar area.  The piano is said to sometimes play at night and people have reported hearing other strange noises and to have felt cold spots.

My hope is that Jessica, Haunting Megan’s primary ghost, gives you chills and makes you think.  Happy reading!

Rebecca Reilly is a pastor and has worked in ministry for over thirty years. A passionate reader and writer, Rebecca took on four wildly different genres for her first five books – a murder mystery at sea (Into Dark Waters), a humorous look at sex and marriage (Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage), a children’s chapter book on bullying and self-esteem (The Geek Club under the name Becky Reilly), and two picture books (Jammers and His Flying Bed Adventure and Heart of a Kitty). She returned to the mystery/romantic suspense genre for her sixth book (Haunting Megan), and is currently working on a non-fiction manuscript, Christian Sex and Marriage—It’s Complicated!  Visit Rebecca’s Amazon Author Page at http://bit.ly/RReillyAmazonAuthor, and follow her on Facebook (facebook.com/RebeccaLynnReilly), Twitter (twitter.com/RebeccaReillyL), Goodreads, and at www.rebeccareilly.net.


Author Bio

Rebecca has an innate belief that if she dreams about something, she can accomplish it. Prompted by that sense of adventure, Rebecca pursued careers as a pastor, a health coach, a massage therapist, a Zumba instructor, a musical theater director/producer, and a writer – all at the same time.

An avid reader, Rebecca begins each morning in the hot tub with a good book. She then wakes her muscles and her creativity with a long trail run, grabs a cup of coffee and gets to work.

Rebecca took on five wildly different genres for her first seven books – a murder mystery at sea (Into Dark Waters), a humorous look at sex and marriage (Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage), a children’s chapter book on bullying and self-esteem (The Geek Club under the pen name Becky Reilly), and two picture books (Jammers and His Flying Bed Adventure and Heart of a Kitty). She returned to the romantic suspense genre for her sixth book (Haunting Megan).  Her current project (summer 2015 release date) is a non-fiction work called Christian Sex and Marriage—It’s Complicated!

Rebecca has been happily married for thirty-one years, is the mother of two, grandmother of one, and lives in Northern California. You can follow Rebecca on Facebook (facebook.com/RebeccaLynnReilly), Twitter (twitter.com/RebeccaReillyL), Goodreads, and at www.rebeccareilly.net. Contact Rebecca at rebeccareilly.author@gmail.com

Contact Info


Web Page: Rebeccareilly.net

Twitter: @RebeccaReillyL

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RebeccaLynnReilly?ref=bookmarks

Book Buy Links

Amazon Author Page: http://bit.ly/RReillyAmazonAuthor

Smashwords Author Page: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/RebeccaReilly

Haunting Megan

 Haunting Megan Cover

Apple iBooks: http://bit.ly/HauntingMeganiBooks

Amazon Paperback: http://bit.ly/HauntingMeganAmazon

Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MQA5YSU

Barns and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/haunting-megan-rebecca-reilly/1119986375?ean=9781499373653

Diary of A Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey To Spice Up My Marriage

diary final fro paperback_ front only copy

Apple iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/diary-christian-woman-how/id655703128?mt=11

Amazon: http://bit.ly/amazondiarychristianwoman

Barns and Noble: http://bit.ly/nookdiarychristianwoman

4WillsPublishing Links:
Rafflecopter Giveaway:  http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/4af5be7f14/

Goodreads Event page:   https://www.goodreads.com/event/show/956832-haunting-megan-blog-tour